He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
