I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
