I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
