Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
