Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize