im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
