Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
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