I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
