I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
