I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
