i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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