I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
