im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
