Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize