i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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