I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
