i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The struggles of a small town man whore
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I have already put on my inside pants.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize