dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
