I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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