I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
