I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
