i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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