I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize