Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
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