Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
