so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
