Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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