We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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