so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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