You smell like stripper and shame
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
