im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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