In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
