mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
