where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
