We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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