can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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