please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
