why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
