Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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