Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
