Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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