Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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