bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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