1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
