He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
