I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
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