Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
