i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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