I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
