Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
