In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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