I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
