I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
