sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
