angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
