Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
