Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
