I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
