Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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