Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
