You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
