i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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