Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
