I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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