Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
