you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
