We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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