just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
