would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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