I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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