direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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